Show Time

"Et de ratage en ratage, on s'habitue à ne jamais dépasser le stade du brouillon. La vie n'est que l'interminable répétition d'une représentation qui n'aura jamais lieu."

Translation: And in misfires in failures, one lives to never go beyond the draft. Life is an endless rehearsal of a performance that never plays.

-Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain

"I remember once you said lying in my bed, 'The past is dead. Everyday is a one act play without an ending.'"

-Hush Now (Stella's Tarantella); Over The Rhine

"Life's a show, and we all play a part."

-Once More With Feeling; Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ahh, the old performance analogies. We perform in life all the time. But we don't really get a rehearsal. For some things, we do get another stab at whatever performance we were trying to give. But many times when we mess something up, it's a done deal. Permanent. You can't take back what you said or did, and no matter how hard you try to make a new outcome, you can't change the past.

It is impossible to not play back certain moments in my life, and wish I could have a do-over. Another chance to prove myself worthy. Maybe if I had had more time to rehearse, I could have reacted a different way. Maybe if I had more experience with relationships, I wouldn't have behaved the way I did. I most certainly misfired and failed, and as much as I want to change what I did, I can't.

But there is a silver lining, I suppose. Maybe this will prepare me for the next time I have a relationship, and something scares me. Maybe I won't runaway out of fear or become judgmental and make such hasty impulsive final choices. Maybe I won't treat someone with disrespect, and stalk them, and go all cling factor five hundred on them.

Well, life is still worth living, and the show must go on. And hopefully, no legs will actually get broken.