PRAISE BE TO GOD! This whole thing was so unexpected, and yet it seemed ordained. During the call back process, I really didn't talk about it to anyone except the ones closest to me because I wanted it so badly. It was much like the time when I decided to go to AMDA. I kept it hidden in my heart because I wanted it so badly, and it was like I had to keep it a secret lest my dreams and hopes be shattered into a million pieces.
It's humbling to know that God does hear my prayers, and in this whole process (where it is very easy to get a big head and think that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread), I know deep down that I have nothing to do with it. I can't help but think that I am so undeserving of this amazing opportunity. Why does God continue to take care of my garden of dreams? For someone as selfish as I am, as pig headed and stubborn, how can He possibly love me?
I am not a good person. I am a failed Christian. And then out of nowhere, God shows up, and He's faithful to His promise, even when I have been faithless and played the part of the harlot. I am Hosea's wife, and I'm finding my way back home to my first love.
With my head bowed, and my senses back, I return to Papa once again, only to find that He doesn't scold me or punish me, but He opens His arms and tells me how much He's missed me. Singing a song of forgiveness and freedom, I throw my caution to the winds of heaven, and let the spirit carry me on the wings of the angels. Thank you, Papa.
It's show time. Let's get some Fudge!
1 comment:
it's funny how moments of great achievement, when you expect your heart to stray and open its doors to feelings of superiority and greed, the grace of God leads you back to where you belong. it's moments like these that strengthen my own faith. thanks for the reminder of all i have to be grateful for. life is good because God is good. amen to that.
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