Seriously.

You know it's serious when HE changes his facebook profile picture to a picture of the two of you before you do. Well, four months in and things are still going strong. I'm starting to think that this might just stand the test of time.

Redemption

You have redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness. I once hid from you because I was ashamed of the mistakes that I made, but You pulled me out of the mud. You cleaned me, gave me food and shelter, warmed me in the shadows of Your wings. You taught me how to walk again, and You taught me how to love. You taught me how to live again, and You loved me when I couldn't love myself. You carried me through the desert. You held me through the storms. You were there on the darkest night and You ordered the light to shine. You named the stars. You counted each hair on my head. You are the beginning. You are the end. You call me Yours. You redeemed me when all hope was lost. You have delivered me from death.

When Things Break

Accidents happen. Things are dropped. Glass shatters. Liquid splashes. Electronics break.

Let's say that I dropped a certain mustard colored purse that happened to have a glass bottle of Arizona Green Tea in it that was three fourths full, and let's just say that the bottle shattered, flooding my bag with a vengeance, as if my purse were inhabited by tiny little sodomites, and let's just say that I happened to have my camera in my purse, and the camera case is not water proof, and now the camera is sticky and broken.

Well, at least I can say that the camera was a find... (that seems to happen to me quite often, actually) so I technically didn't pay anything for it, so there's nothing for me to be upset about really.

In the grand scheme of things, there is a lot I have to be grateful for, but it's still disappointing when things break.

The Day Is Getting Closer

Honestly, I want this world to reach Armageddon or Rapture or whatever. Sometimes it feels like I'm already in the final days. I'm so tired of angry young men threatening the ones I love as well as my life with violence. Nothing can quell their anger but blood. Fine. Attack me, shoot me, destroy me. I'm too saddened to even put up a fight.

I'm ready to experience the peace that passes all understanding. I'm ready to go to a place where evil cannot exist. I'm ready to see my dad glowing with the glory from having been in the presence of God, I'm ready to see the face of the Beautiful One who rescued me from my sinking grave. Oh, Lord, into your hands, I commit my spirit. Please take me now.

Dare You To Move

So, it looks like I left a big chunk of my heart in New York City, which is awesome and frustrating. Do I feel ready to take the stage? Well, yes and no. I don't think I'll be performing in the same capacity. Honestly, I don't care if I don't end up on Broadway. I just want to do something that will impact the world for a greater good.

Carol and Jaydip's wedding was beautiful and the whole process was delightful to watch and participate. At one point, me, Brandon (the guitarist) and Liz (one of Carol's Bridesmaids, girlfriend of Brandon) went to Central Park and did some busking. We sang for about forty minutes and got four dollars. It felt great to just sing and perform again before an audience. We donated the four dollars to Shaela, another bridesmaid, who is in the process of adopting a child from Hungary. Even though four dollars isn't very much, it felt good to use my talents to help others.

I also got to see so many of my talented and artistic friends, and they just filled my heart with so much joy and laughter.

I'm ready to go back to the city.

Hi diddle lee dee!

Disney World was great. I wish I had as much energy as I did when I was a kid. I also wish I wasn't so jaded at the beginning. Once I let go of my cynical demeanor, I began to feel that childlike side of me wake up. Somewhere between the spinning tea cups with my sister and my niece and Space Mountain with my sis and brother-in-law, my inner child began to come alive. I couldn't help but miss my dad. He was all that was missing from the picture.

Coming home was bittersweet. I left the wonderful world of Disney and danced straight into the arms of a man with eyes as cool and blue as the deep blue sea. Oh, my, but do I like him. But my time home was short lived.

I am currently en route to New York City. I'm going to see all the old beloved faces and places. It might be emotional, but it'll be good for me. My boat was meant to be rocked, and I kinda like it like that.

Use It or Lose It

So I took out my tap shoes today and went down to the garage. My attempts were a pathetic cacophony. I've never been really good at tap to begin with, and if you thought I was bad then, well, there's a new level of incompetence. You'd think I'd never had a tap class a day in my life. It was pitiful. So, a new goal is to try to get my tap shoes on and practice this week, because quite frankly, these tap shoes are way too expensive for me to have if I'm not using them. Speaking of which... so were my rock climbing shoes... looks like I have a lot of work to do.