Looking Forward to Looking Back

The past is over, and I am constantly changing. I can't change the things that I have done, but I can let go of the old things that are weighing me down and amend my future. I am lucky to have had parents who taught me how to persevere in spite of the on-going turmoil. I remember when I used to consider myself a black sheep, a reject, and a loser, and I am so thankful that I didn't stay in that place.

Right now, I'll admit, things aren't going 100% my way, but then again, when has it ever gone my way 100%? I have just got to push through and continue to do better, try harder, and believe down to the letter.

Comparing pain

I'm angry because someone compared their pain to mine.

My emotions are running pretty high right now. I have this raging anger right now, and I don't like it, but it exists all the same.

Petty?

One of my ex-boyfriends whom we shall call "Old Greg" should come with a warning tattooed on his forehead. I recently found out that he was engaged, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not jealous of the girl- I feel very sorry for this young woman who is about to commit herself to such a heinous person. Marriage to a guy like him is a punishment that I would not wish on even my worst enemy.

It was a long time ago, but I can't help remembering that all of my friends were celebratory about the break up- the fact that we all called him "Old Greg" in the early stages of the relationship should have been warning enough for me not to pursue anything with him, but like the stubborn idiot that I was, I did anyway, and it was a big mess. I know I was stupid for a while, but eventually, I got less stupid, and got rid of the guy.

I hope this girl wakes up and realizes that the man she's wasting valuable moments of her life on is a total ass hat.

Tear Stains

It's early in the morning, at least early for me, and I find myself in tears. This overwhelming sense of loss seems to wash over me.

There Goes My Heart

When you least expect it, something just snowballs, and before you know it, you're in the arms of a man with cool blue eyes, and you're fine and fancy free.

Summer Breeze

The past weekend found me in Charleston, dancing my cares and woes away. I met some fantastic people, and got to know people that I had previously met even better.

The weather was (for the most part) very nice, and it was just a real blast. For a few moments, I really did forget all of the things that were dragging my spirit down, and I was sad to say goodbye to everyone and leave.

The summer sun warmed me up, and made me feel so good inside. There's something about the whole experience that brought peace and healing to my soul.

Live Jazz

I love live Jazz. Clarinets are awesome. Trombones rock. Saxes are soulful. An upright bass is sexy. And don't get me started on the drums. Woo, woo, woo!

In other news, I seem to be doing better. I've been taking care of babies, traveling, and just figuring out what to do with this life down here.